


Lavender Blood

by spooky_ghoul



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Paramore, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Agoraphobia, Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Drug Use, High School, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Self-Harm, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-11-24 07:43:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20904086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spooky_ghoul/pseuds/spooky_ghoul
Summary: "Lavenderis always running through my bloodI've had enoughI'm cold and it is duskturn into dust,it's dripping from my gumsIt's not enough"- Fox Academy "Lavender Blood"





	1. Introduction

Tyler looked up from the book he was reading, watching the sunrise from his window. He did it again. He stayed up all night, on a school night. He sighed to himself and placed a small daisy he picked yesterday afternoon in the book, closing it and setting it on his nightstand. He had to go to school today, he'd missed five days already. He stood up from his bed and softly stepped toward his bedroom door. He put his ear to the door and listened for any noise before opening the door and peeking his head out. The coast was clear.

His socks brushed along the matted carpet as he walked down the hall to the small bathroom at the end of the trailer. Upon entering the bathroom, Tyler avoided looking at the mirror above the sink, he grabbed his toothbrush and the tube of toothpaste, turning the faucet on. He wetted his toothbrush before squeezing an abnormal amount of toothpaste on the bristles. He rinsed the toothbrush under the water once before he began to brush his teeth, a bit too hard.

"You're up?" His father grumbled at the end of the hall.

Tyler rushed to spit in the sink and rinse out his mouth before answering, "'Course I am." Tyler mumbled, wiping his face with the hand towel hanging near the sink.

His father laughed, disbelief in his voice. "You gonna skip again, today?"

"No," Tyler rolled his eyes, "I'm goin' today."

"You better." His dad pointed at him before turning around and walking towards the kitchen.

Tyler walked out of the bathroom and into his bedroom, shutting the door. He balled his hands into fists, taking a slow deep breath as he looked around the room. He went to his closet, opening the door and rummaging through his collection of soft sweaters, big comfy hoodies, jeans, and overalls. There may be a random skirt or two in there but that was one of Tyler's biggest secrets. If anyone knew about him, everything would be so much worse.

Tyler lived in one of the smallest towns in Osage County, Oklahoma, the population of just about four hundred. You had to drive almost thirty miles just to get to the grocery store, forty to get to a hospital. The townsfolk aren't particularly known for being open-minded, and southern hospitality is always there behind a snide comment.

"It's seven-thirty! Bus'll be here any minute!" His father hollered from outside Tyler's bedroom door. Tyler finished getting dressed and grabbed his backpack, swinging it over his shoulder. He ran his fingers through his hair, grabbing a strand and twisting it as he looked at his notebook that sat on his desk. Deciding against taking it, he rushed to his door and left his room, walking down the hall to the living room. His father was sitting in his recliner, rocking back and forth as he watched the news.

"Bye, Dad," Tyler muttered, opening the front door and walking onto the front porch, shutting the door behind him before he could hear whatever rude remark his dad came up with. He walked down the broken wooden steps, avoiding the hole in the third step, and raced down the lawn towards the bus stop. He cursed himself as the bus pulled up, remembering he forgot his phone. He looked back at the trailer then back at the bus, deciding it was better to deal with everyone without his headphones in his ears all day than to walk past his dad again. He just wanted to get this day over with.  
  
  
  


\-----

"Josh!" Ashley yelled through his bedroom door, banging on the damaged door. "Get the fuck up, we're late!"

Josh groaned, rubbing his eyes. "Eat shit!" He yelled back, kicking the covers off of his body. He rose from the bed slowly, stretching his arms above his head and yawning before running his hand through his messy curls. He walked across his dirty floor, stepping on a bottle cap and cursing to himself before opening his dresser drawer and pulling out a shirt. He held it to his nose and sniffed it, deciding it was passable for a clean shirt, he pulled it on.

"Josh!" Ashley shouted, again, through his closed bedroom door.

He sighed, rolling his eyes as he put on deodorant. "Hold your goddamn horses, Ashley!" He yelled, setting the deodorant back on his dresser. He searched through the clothes on his floor until he found a pair of jeans, slipping into them. He sat down on his bed and pulled his socks on tighter before grabbing his boots that were by the foot of his bed and shoving them on his feet. He stomped over to his dresser one last time, grabbing his wallet, keys, pack of cigarettes, and lighter before going to the door.

Josh opened his door to reveal an extremely irritated Ashley, the dark makeup around her eyes making her stare look even more intimidating. "Let's go, dickhead," Josh said as he motioned for her to walk down the hall. She scoffed, walking away from him and heading into the living room. She grabbed her black messenger bag, putting the strap over her shoulder and went to the door, Josh following behind her.

"Can I drive?" Ashley asked as she opened the front door, walking out onto the front porch.

"Fuck, no," Josh said, pushing past her and walking down the steps. "You're gonna fuck up the gears."

"Fuck you," she said following him to his truck, "I'm a good driver."

Josh snickered, opening the driver's side door and hopping in the truck, "Yeah, and if a frog had wings it wouldn't bump its ass when it hops."

Ashley squinted her eyes at him, opening the passenger side door and getting in the truck, setting her bag beside her. "You're a real asshole, you know that?"

"Yeah," he laughed, "but you still love me." He grinned, starting the engine. Ashley scoffed but a smile graced her lips. She looked out the window, staring at their trailer as they drove off, Josh watching her out of the corner of his eye. He breathed out through his nose, trying to calm himself before speaking, "He's not comin' back, Sis."

"Promise?" Her voice was small, sounding as if it didn't belong to her.

"I promise," He said, taking his right hand off the wheel to rest his arm on the seat, behind Ashley. "Don't worry about that stuff before school, alright?"

Ashley sighed, frustrating Josh to the point where he placed his right hand back on the steering wheel and gripped it with both hands so tight his knuckles turned white. He sped up, making it to the high school in record time. He drove into the parking lot, up to the breezeway between the junior high and the high school, putting the truck in park.

"Get out," he told Ashley, who already had the strap of her bag wrapped around her shoulder and her hand on the door handle.

"Duh," she scoffed, getting out of the truck, flipping her red hair to the side. "You ain't comin'." It wasn't a question, she already knew.

He shook his head. "Nah, I gotta get my head straight. I'll be back before lunch."

Ashley nodded. "I got you, Bub."

"Thanks, Ashley," he said, a small smile teasing at the corners of his mouth, "now shut the fuckin' door."

Ashley rolled her eyes, sighing, and shut the door before walking away, flipping her big brother off. He laughed as he watched her walk into the building. He took the truck out of park and put it in reverse, backing out of the parking lot. He shifted into drive and pulled onto the road, driving away from town. The further he got from there the better he felt.


	2. Frank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***Trigger Warnings: drug abuse, alcohol abuse, alcohol poisoning, bullying, non-consensual, and violence.***

Josh drove the twelve miles to Gerard Way's house, one of the best people Josh knows and one of his best friends, the radio blaring the only 'alternative' station in the area. He held his left arm out of the window, letting the air skim across his skin as he slowly moved his arm up and down. Josh admired the scenery as he sang along to Smashing Pumpkins, screamed with Slipknot, and mumbled along to Coldplay. Fall had made its entrance, it was his favourite time of year, the evergreen trees against the changing leaves on the elms and oak trees, it was just cold enough to wear a hoodie or a sweatshirt, and Halloween, of course.

He parked his truck in the driveway, getting out and shutting the door a little too hard. He walked up to the trailer, the gravel crunching under his boots, carefully stepping on the makeshift porch that was four cinderblocks stacked on top of each other. He knocked on the door three times, paused, then beat a fourth time.

The front door opened to reveal a woman who was holding a cigarette, her red lipstick staining the filter. She smiled at Josh, swinging the door all the way open, "C' mon in."

"Thanks, Lyn." Josh smiled gratefully, walking into the trailer and plopping down on the couch. He immediately felt a weight fall off his shoulders; he could finally breathe.

Lindsey shut the front door then walked over to where Josh was sitting and sat down, putting her cigarette out in the ashtray. She pulled the coffee table closer towards them before grabbing a box that was sitting on top of it. She opened the ornate wooden box and pulled out a pipe, setting it on the coffee table. "This is what you want, right?" She asked him.

Josh shook himself out of his daze and focused on Lindsey, "Huh? What did you say?" She packed the bowl of the pipe before handing it to him, along with a white lighter. "Do you have anything else?" He asked.

She nodded, getting up and walking down the hall to the bathroom. A few minutes later, she emerged from the bathroom and sat back down beside Josh. She placed two small blue round pills on the coffee table. "Crushed or cut?"

"Crushed," Josh answered, blowing smoke out of his mouth.

Josh did this often. He would come over to Gerard and Lindsey's, and they would be there, with open arms, giving him a release from the constant feeling of a black hole in his chest. It started with weed, and then Josh found the magic of pills. They numbed him in the best way possible. They replaced every awful thought and feeling with comfort and warmth. It was like the feeling of being home.

Josh took the pill crusher from Lindsey and dumped the powdered medicine in his mouth. She handed him her glass of, what looked like Mountain Dew, which he gulped down before shaking his head and making a disgusted face. He gave her the glass before retching, "I will never get used to that fucking taste."

She laughed, leaning back on the dark green sofa. "So, you ditchin' today?"

He sat the pill crusher on the coffee table along with the pipe and lighter. "Nah," he shook his head, "I told Ashley I would be back before lunch."

"Ah, are people still givin' her shit?" Lindsey asked, picking up the cigarette she put out earlier and relighting it.

"Yeah..." He trailed off before adding, "I should probably head back," He said. "Is Gee still asleep?" Josh asked.

Lindsey nodded, puffing on her cigarette and grabbing the remote from the coffee table. "Mhm," she turned the TV on, switching the channel from the news to cartoons, "him and Frank showed up around two in the morning, Frank threw up in Mikey's room," she snorted, "he was pissed."

Josh laughed before jumping up and walking down the end of the hall to Gerard's bedroom. He swung the door open and shouted, "Hands off your cocks and put your feet in your socks!"

Gerard groaned, rubbing his eyes. "Fuck off, Dun. I'm sick." Frank didn't move from where he was passed out on his stomach beside Gerard on the bed.

Josh jumped on the bed, making Gerard and Frank bounce in the air. "You're not sick. You're hungover. C' mon, man. I have to be back before lunch." Gerard sighed, frustrated, pulling up the blanket to his face. Josh yanked the blanket off, exposing Gerard in his jeans and t-shirt and Frank's bare ass. "Jesus Christ," He sighed, throwing the blanket on Frank. "Get the fuck up. I know you're awake, Frank."

Frank mumbled something incoherent.

Gerard sat up, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked at Josh then at Frank then back at Josh. "D'you think he's okay?"

Josh shrugged, he couldn't focus on anything at the moment. He just knew he needed to be at school for Ashley. The drugs were slowing him down. "Push him," he said.

Gerard gently pushed Frank's shoulder, rolling him over on his side. "Dude, his skin is like, kinda blue," Gerard exclaimed as he placed the back of his hand on Frank's forehead, "and he's clammy."

That set something off in Josh, causing him to rush forward to Frank and lean down, listening to his breathing. "He's not breathin' so good, man." Josh shook Frank by his shoulder, but he was unresponsive.

"Fuck," Gerard said, pulling at his hair as he climbed off the bed. "What do we do?"

"We gotta wake him up. Help me carry him into the tub, would ya?" Josh asked as he wrapped the blanket around Frank.

"The tub?" Gerard asked, confused. "What? Why?"

"Warm shower," Josh said, picking Frank up from underneath the shoulders. "It always helped my dad." He shrugged. "Now get your ass over here and help me."

Gerard hurried over to Frank, picking up his legs. They carried Frank to the tub, setting him in the bath and laying him back after taking off the blanket. Josh averted his eyes as he turned the faucet on, letting the water heat up. He stood suddenly and went to the door. "Uh, Gee, I think you can handle it from here. Just don't let him drown. I'm gonna go get him some water." Gerard nodded and went to tend to Frank.

Josh walked out of the bathroom and down the hallway, he passed Lyn who was asleep on the couch and hurried into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water before quietly walking back to the hallway and into the bathroom. He entered the tiny room to see Gerard washing off an awake Frank, soap suds in his hair and falling down his skin, the smell of strawberries wafting throughout the little room. "I'm glad to see you're awake," Josh said.

"He threw up," Gerard said, a sad look on his face. "He's not blue anymore, though."

"I'm blue da ba dee da ba da," Frank mumbled out, making Gerard and Josh laugh.

Josh placed the water bottle on the sink. "Try to sip on this water, okay, buddy?"

"Yes, sir!" Frank tried to shout; instead, it came out slurred and like he had gargled gravel, low and quiet.

Josh smiled sadly and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Josh was scared. He didn't want to admit it, but he was terrified. He knew they should have called an ambulance, but he was worried about what would happen to Frank if they did. Who knows what all Frank was on? Not to mention what would happen if Frank's dad found out about this.

**\-----**

Tyler kept his head down as he walked through the hall of his high school and towards his locker. He forgot just how loud everyone was without his headphones and silently cursed himself for leaving them at home. Thankful that it was almost time for lunch, Tyler unlocked his locker, opening it to reveal a stack of school books and books from the library. He grabbed his history book, but before he could shut his locker, someone slammed it shut for him.

Frank Iero was grinning, his hand placed on Tyler's locker, balancing himself. His eyes were half-lidded, and the smell of cigarettes and the faint scent of strawberries lingered around him. "How goes it?" He asked, swaying, where he stood.

"Leave me alone, Frank." Tyler sighed, walking away from his locker.

Frank shuffled behind Tyler, his boots scuffing along the floor as he pushed past other people, catching up with Tyler. "Wait a minute!" He yelled, grabbing Tyler by the shoulder and guiding him towards an unoccupied spot in the hallway. "Why're you wearing a turtleneck under a hoodie? It's sixty fucking degrees outside."

"Because I can," Tyler defended lamely.

"Because I can," Frank mocked him, reaching forward to pull the neck of Tyler's sweatshirt down, but Tyler swatted his hand away. "Fuck off, Frank." Tyler sighed, pulling the turtleneck up more on his neck. "It's none of your business."

Frank gasped. "You dirty little pillow biter." He smiled. "So, who's the lucky guy?"

"What makes you think it's a guy?" Tyler asked, his eyebrows furrowed, agitated.

"Oh, so you're bisexual?" Frank asked as Josh Dun appeared beside him suddenly, rolling his eyes.

"Frank, leave him alone," Josh said, "we need to go to class."

Frank wobbled over to the wall, leaning against it and closing his eyes. "School is a prison. You know why?" He paused. "Because--" Just then, the bell rang, cutting Frank off and startling Tyler. 

Tyler held his book close to his chest and turned around, ignoring Frank and Josh, walking to class. He prepared himself for Mr. Holt to give him the most disapproving face as he gave Tyler his usual glare from above the rim of his glasses. Tyler walked down the hall and into the classroom, going to sit at the very back of the room. He opened up his backpack and took out a notebook, opening it and beginning to copy the notes from the whiteboard.

"Yo!" Frank yelled as he entered the room, staggering over to a desk in the front row and plopping down in it.

"Listen up!" Mr. Holt's voice boomed throughout the room.

Frank burst into laughter. "Is there gonna be a story?" He asked, placing his elbow on the desk and resting his head on his hand. Tyler silently chuckled to himself, rolling his eyes as he picked at his cuticles.

"Why, yes, Mr. Iero!" Mr. Holt shouted. "There usually is--"

"Is it about a little guy that lives in a blue world?" Frank snorted, Josh was doubled over beside him, gasping out a laugh.

"That's enough, you two idiots." Mr. Holt said. Tyler watched as his history teacher scanned the room before setting his stare on him and pointing in his direction. "Joseph! Switch seats with Dun."

"What?" Josh shouted, "But I didn't even do anything!"

"Do you want _two_ detentions with me this week, Joshua?" Mr. Holt asked, walking towards his desk.

Josh sighed, getting up from his seat and walking to where Tyler was grabbing his things. The tension between them was always intense, but the snickers and awkward stares everyone in the room gave them had made it palpable. Tyler averted his gaze as he hurried past Josh and walked towards the front of the room to his new assigned seat.

Frank gave Tyler a cheesy grin, doing everything in his power to make sure Tyler noticed him, whether that was tapping on his desk, waving his hands in front of Tyler's face, or merely saying Tyler's name, over and over. He flinched every time Mr. Holt yelled at Frank; he was shaking by the time his teacher demanded Frank go to the office. 

His face was a deep red as he sank in his seat, pulling his hood up and crossing his arms over his chest. Mr. Holt didn't say anything to Tyler, except for his routine, "Did you bring 'em?" Like always, Tyler handed back the work he'd done over the past few days he'd been gone. It felt like his mind was stuck on repeat, and he was feeling everything all at once. All he wanted to do was run out of there and never look back.

Josh and Tyler were friends until the rumors started spreading in freshman year. There were plenty of them. One of the most popular was that Tyler was gay, which in their town was like a death sentence. They were at one of Brendon's stupid parties, sitting in a circle with him, Jenna, Pete, Sarah, Debby, and Frank, playing spin the bottle. Tyler watched Brendon kiss Debby on the cheek, Pete kiss Jenna on the forehead, and Sarah gave Brendon a peck on the lips before it was his turn to spin the bottle.

He nervously grabbed the bottle, spinning it on the dirty concrete floor of Brendon's basement. It turned around and around, slowing down until it landed directly on Frank. Tyler instantly decided that he was done playing. He announced to the room that he was going to leave and went to stand up, but before he could, Frank grabbed his arm, yanked him back down, and grabbed his face, kissing him on the lips.

Tyler had gone still. He didn't know what to do, so he sat there, his eyes wide open, aware of everyone's laughter and gasps filling the room as Frank kissed him. Tyler broke away from the kiss, teary-eyed and red-faced. Tyler stood suddenly, rushing to get up the basement stairs as fast as he could. Josh followed after him, causing Brendon to tease both of them. That's when it started. That's when Brendon fucking Urie began to make Tyler's life a living hell.

**\-----**

Josh hung around outside the office door, waiting for Frank, as everyone else filed out of the building to go to the cafeteria. He peeked into the window in the door, watching Frank talk to the Principal. He shook his head as Frank slightly stumbled towards the door with a smile on his face. "What'd she say?" Josh asked him when he emerged from the office.

"All good, man." Frank grinned. "Let's go get somethin' to eat. I'm starvin'."

Josh rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever." He followed his friend down the empty hallway and outside into the crisp air. "So, why were you talking to Tyler earlier?"

"I always talk to Tyler." Frank deadpanned.

"Yeah, well, you should stop," Josh suggested.

Frank narrowed his eyes at Josh. "But I don't want to." He said, putting his hands in the pocket of his hoodie.

"But it's better if you do," Josh said.

Frank laughed, "Dude, you sound like Brendon."

Josh scoffed, "Oh, fuck off. No, I fuckin' don't."

"You been hangin' around him again?" Frank asked Josh, glancing at him for a second before looking back at his feet.

Josh paused in thought before shrugging, "He has good weed."

Frank snickered, readjusting his hood. "Yeah, sure, okay. D'you suck his dick, too?"

"What?" Josh asked, taken off guard.

"Josh," Frank began, "the guy's a fuckin' dickhead. He can stick his internalized homophobia right up his ass. Dude's gay."

Josh scoffed, _that _particular smell entering his nose as he opened the door to the cafeteria. "Coming from the guy who was in bed with another dude this morning, _naked_."

Frank stopped walking and pushed Josh into a corner of the room; his eyes set alight with something Josh hadn't seen in a long time. "Jesus fucking Christ, why don't you shout it to the entire school, Josh?" He harshly whispered.

Josh looked around, noticing no one was paying any attention to them, at all. "Relax, man. No one is listening. 'Sides, pretty much everyone knows you kissed Tyler in ninth." He whispered. 

Frank sighed, pulling at the sleeves of his hoodie and looking down at the ground. "Yeah, but I was fucked up. You know that, Josh. I told you that."

"I know," Josh said. "It's alright. No one knows anything but me, and I'm not saying anything. Okay?"

Frank nodded, pushing his hair back. "Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. Let's-- Let's just go sit with Mikey and everyone." Josh led the way to their usual table near the back of the cafeteria, taking a seat next to their friend, Ray. Frank opted for sitting on the edge of the table. The chatter in the room filled Josh's ears, his head becoming dizzy, and his vision blurring. He rubbed at his eyes, trying to focus on what everyone was saying.

"You alright, dude?" Ray asked Josh as he reached over his tray to Mikey's, grabbing his apple and taking a bite out of it. "You look a little pale."

"Yeah, I'm fine," Josh said. "I'm gonna go get somethin'. What'd you want, Frank?"

"Hmm," Frank hummed in thought, looking up at the ceiling, "just get me chocolate milk and an orange."

Josh scrunched up his nose at the combination of food, "Okay," he mumbled under his breath, standing up and walking towards the lunchline. He stood behind two girls in cheerleading outfits, Sarah Orzechowski and Jenna Black; they were twirling their hair and talking animatedly. Josh sighed, leaning to the side to see who else was in front of him. A chill ran through him when he recognized Tyler. He wanted to scream.

The two girls started giggling obnoxiously and whispering to each other. Tyler turned around with a tray of food in his hands, looking down, he walked forward quickly and bumped into Sarah, spilling the tray all over her uniform and the floor.

She yelled, "What the fuck?" wiping chunks of mac and cheese off of her uniform. The cafeteria went silent. Tyler could feel everyone staring at him, laughing and pointing.

"I'll go grab a wet paper towel," Jenna said, "It'll be okay, Sarah." Jenna bolted for the bathroom, her blonde ponytail swaying as she ran.

Brendon stormed over to Tyler, grabbed him by the collar of his turtleneck, exposing the bruises on Tyler's neck, and yanked him towards the wall, slamming him against it. "D'you do it on purpose?" He growled out, moving his hand to grip Tyler by the throat. "Huh?"

Josh rushed forward and grabbed Brendon's shoulder. "C' mon, man," he said, "knock it off." Brendon shrugged Josh's hand off of him and punched Tyler in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. Before Josh could do anything, Frank had grabbed Brendon by the hair of his head, yanking him back before throwing him to the ground and sitting on top of him. Brendon punched him in the cheek, stunning him for a second before he grabbed Brendon by the throat and swung his fist, again and again, hitting Brendon in the face, feeling his nose crack as blood coated his knuckles.

Mr. Holt raced over, pulling him off of Brendon. "That's enough!" He yelled, yanking Frank over to the other side of the room and starting to lead him to the doors of the cafeteria.

"Frank!" Josh shouted, feeling utterly helpless as he watched his friend continue on a downward spiral. Frank looked back at Josh, jerking his hands out of Mr. Holt's grip. "I'll be there to pick you up!" Frank smiled before allowing Mr. Holt to lead him outside. 

Josh watched his science teacher rush to Brendon's aid. He was lying on the dirty linoleum floor, blood covering his mouth and nose. Jenna sprinted out of the bathroom, her clean white sneakers squeaking across the floor, she avoided the mess on the floor as she handed Sarah the wet paper towels. Josh walked over to Tyler, who was sitting against the wall with his knees against his chest.

Not wanting to startle him, Josh crept slowly towards Tyler. "Hey," he said. Tyler's gaze switched from zoning out to glaring at Josh, his intense stare sending chills down Josh's spine. The older boy ran his fingers through his hair, taking a deep breath and trying again. "Are-- Are you okay?" He asked.

Tyler sniffed, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "Are you serious?" Josh's face morphed into a look of confusion and concern. Tyler let out an empty laugh. "You haven't talked to me, you've barely even looked at me in almost three years, and now you wanna ask if I'm okay?" He scoffed. "Why would you give a shit, Josh?"

Hearing Tyler say his name was like a time warp. He hadn't heard his voice say his name in so long it sounded foreign. He nodded, speaking softly, "Sorry." Josh began to walk away, feeling like the biggest dumbass in the world. Ashley was standing near the table Josh was sitting at earlier, fiddling with her thumbs, a worried look on her face.

"You alright?" She asked. 

Josh sat down at the table, laying his head on the cold fake wood. "Don't worry about it right now, Ashley." He sighed. "Please."


	3. Jenna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***Trigger Warnings: mentions of vomiting, food, drugs, and anxiety.***

Tyler decided to make a stop at the convenience store, a half-mile down the road, before walking home from school. He had a little money left over from doing a job for his dad and figured he could try to eat tonight. Tyler had something wrong with him. The countless doctors he'd seen never could accurately determine what it was, but all he knew was that his body and mind didn't like to eat. No matter what he ate, Tyler would end up doubled over, in excruciating pain, vomiting up everything in his stomach until it was only bile.

That was part of the reason he rarely went to school. One of the biggest reasons was that he feared what would happen if he wasn't home. Tyler has a fear that he'll come back from school one day, and his mother will either be dead or gone. That thought turned over and over in his mind regularly. Something will happen to her, and then he'd be alone with his father, his biggest fear.

He was halfway there when the sound of an engine neared. A horn honking startled Tyler, nearly tripping over his own feet as he moved over to the ditch. A vehicle slowed to a crawl, following him as he walked. "Hey!" A female voice shouted. Tyler kept his head down, watching his feet. "Tyler, you want a ride?" He looked out of the corner of his eye to see Jenna, her arm hanging out of the open car window with a small smile on her face. He didn't stop walking, though.

"Oh c'mon, Tyler," Jenna sighed, "let me give you a ride. I feel terrible about what happened today." He kept walking. She sighed, "It's gonna rain, and you're gonna get wet, Tyler." Tyler stopped suddenly, causing Jenna to hit the brakes and stop the car in the road. He hesitated before walking over to the passenger's side and opening the door, getting in. Jenna gave him a big smile and asked, "You goin' to the store?"

Tyler nodded, placing his backpack between his legs and shutting the car door. As Jenna began to drive to the store, Tyler started to panic; What if she wasn't taking him to the store? What if she was taking him to somewhere in the middle of fucking nowhere and Brendon is there? "Uh, Jenna," his voice shook as he spoke, "w-why did you pick me up? I-I mean, don't you hate me?"

She snorted, "Hate you? Why would I hate you?"

Tyler shrugged. "I don't know... because everyone does? No one talks to me anymore."

Jenna was silent; the smile was slowly fading from her face. The rest of the short drive was quiet save for the soft sounds coming from the radio. Tyler instantly regretted getting into her car. He should have just ridden the bus home and ate some crackers for dinner. Jenna pulled into the parking lot of the convenience store before putting the car in park, turning off the engine. She turned to Tyler, her bright blue eyes striking as ever, and softly spoke, "Tyler... people don't hate you."

He scoffed, looking up from where he was focusing on ripping off a piece of skin on his finger. "Yeah, right."

A look of determination washed across Jenna's features as she grabbed one of Tyler's hands, holding it with both of hers. "I don't hate you," she said, "remember that. Okay?" She squeezed his hand before placing it back in his lap. Tyler was so confused. He didn't know if he could trust her anymore. Jenna pulled her keys out of the ignition and opened the car door. "Gatorade, right?" She asked Tyler, swinging her long legs out of the car.

"How'd you know?" Tyler asked as he got out of the car, and followed her to the door, the bell that hung from the handle ringing as she pulled it open.

Jenna chuckled, "You always have a bottle with you, silly." She reached up and ruffled his hair, smiling as she held the door open for him.

He shrunk in on himself, a blush spreading across his face, fixing his hair as he walked inside the store. The owner stood behind the counter, leaning on it on his elbows. "Hello, Miss Jenna!" The owner shouted, "How are you today?"

"Oh, I'm alright. There's a game today," Jenna answered as she walked to the coolers, grabbing two Gatorades.

"Ah," the store owner nodded, "I figured as much. You kids been in and out of here so much I'm goin' have to take that damn bell off the door."

Jenna laughed, setting the drinks on the counter. "Do you want anything else?" She asked Tyler.

"What? I can't let you pay for my stuff." He said.

"Please," she pleaded, grabbing one of his hands, holding it gently, "it's the least I can do after today."

He thought about it for a minute, wondering if this was a trick, but she and the store owner were staring at him, and he could feel the anxiety creeping up his spine. He nodded, "Okay."

"Great," she smiled. "Now go get somethin' to eat. You're probably starvin'." She shooed him away towards the aisles of food. He grabbed two packages of donuts, powdered sugar, and chocolate frosted, before heading back to the coolers and picking up a bottle of chocolate milk. He walked back to the front and placed everything on the counter. Jenna's eyebrows raised as her eyes grew in size. "That looks good," she said, "now I'm hungry." She giggled, dashing over to the row of sweets.

She grabbed two more packages of donuts before skipping over to the coolers and getting her own chocolate milk. Tyler let a smile grow on his face as he remembered how much Jenna loved doing this; they used to walk to the store after school every Friday and buy donuts and chocolate milk with their allowances. Well, mostly with Jenna's. Tyler stared everywhere but at Jenna while she paid for their food and drinks. They said goodbye to the store owner and walked outside, the bell on the door jingling. The two got back in the car, Jenna placing the bag in the backseat.

"So," she began, sticking the keys in the ignition and starting her car, "you still live past the lake?"

Tyler nodded, buckling his seatbelt, "Yeah, down the road from my dad's shop."

"Okie Dokie." Jenna smiled sweetly at him before looking in the rearview mirror and backing up. She then drove out of the parking lot and onto the road.

Jenna and Tyler had been friends since second grade. She came up to him when he was sitting by himself during recess and asked if he wanted to swing with her. She didn't care how timid and shy he was; her bubbly confidence could fill up every conversation they had. They became inseparable. No one messed with Tyler when Jenna was there, and it wasn't that Jenna was scary; it was quite the opposite. She was the kindest person you could ever meet, so you had to really fuck up to get on her wrong side. Tyler didn't understand why it all changed.

He looked out the window, watching the dark clouds roll in as he listened to Jenna hum along to a song on the radio. He was grateful that Jenna had picked him up. He wasn't looking forward to walking home in the rain. "Hey, y' know, thanks for picking me up, Jenna...and for paying for the food," Tyler said, "I appreciate it."

She scoffed, taking her right hand off the top of the wheel and placing it on the bottom. "Of course I'm gonna pick you up, Tyler. You think I'm gonna let you walk in the rain?" Jenna asked incredulously.

"Well--"

"You have more friends than you think, mister." Jenna interrupted. "Hey, reach back there and grab me a donut, would you?"

Tyler sat there momentarily bewildered before shaking his head and unbuckling his seatbelt. He reached into the back, fumbling through the bag that sat on the backseat. "Double chocolate or cinnamon sugar?" He asked her.

"Mmm," she hummed in thought, "double chocolate!"

He grabbed the sleeve of donuts and sat back in his seat, opening the package then handing it to Jenna. She sat them in her lap, her left hand on the steering wheel and her right, attempting to extract a chocolate donut from its plastic prison carefully. Tyler stared at her as she struggled.

"Do you want me to get that for you?" He asked.

"I got it." She said.

"Jenna, you're gonna kill us." He pressed, buckling his seatbelt.

She laughed, "Tyler, no, I'm not." Jenna raised her knees so that they touched the steering wheel and began driving the car with them.

"_Yes_," he pressed, "you are!"

"_No_," she giggled, ripping the plastic open and successfully grabbing a donut, "I'm not!" She shoved the donut in her mouth and placing her hands back on the steering wheel. Tyler glared at her, holding onto his seatbelt. She glanced at him a few times before she spoke with a mouthful of food, "What? I never said I was a lady."

Tyler lost his composure and broke into a grin, "You're ridiculous!"

"Am not!" Jenna argued, picking up another donut and taking a bite out of it.

"Are too!" He laughed, his eyebrows practically reaching his hairline as his eyes grew wide.

"Nuh-uh," she mumbled.

"Don't start," he said, grabbing one of her donuts and taking a bite out of it. "God, why did we do that all the time again?"

"Because it's fun," she drawled out. "Speaking of fun, do you wanna go to the game? You can watch me cheer and look at Brendon's ugly mug sulk across the court."

"I don't know," he shook his head, shoving the rest of the donut in his mouth before speaking with a mouthful of food, "Do you think that's a good idea?"

"Yeah," Jenna shrugged, wiping a smear of chocolate off of her mouth. "I mean, why not? Brendon can't do anything while he's playing," she smiled before adding, "and I'll even drive you home." They slowed to a stop at the stop sign, and Jenna turned to Tyler, "It's now or never, Joseph. Time to make a decision."

Tyler looked into Jenna's brilliant blue eyes, searching for a hint of deception and came up empty. Her curled ponytail fell onto her shoulder as she tilted her head to the side, waiting for an answer. "Fine," Tyler sighed, "I'll go."

"Yes!" She shrieked, grabbing onto Tyler's shoulder and shaking him back and forth. "I'm so excited!" Jenna turned onto the street to the high school, and Tyler's stomach leaped into his throat and out of his mouth, covering the stickers that littered Jenna's dashboard.

"I'm so sorry!" Tyler exclaimed.

Jenna pulled into the parking lot quickly, parking near the gym entrance and shutting off the engine. "It's alright," she said as she opened her car door, "I'm gonna go get something to clean this up with."

"Jenna, I'm so--" She shut the door before he could finish his sentence, running to the side entrance of the gym and disappearing inside. Tyler broke into a sob instantly. He fucked everything up. He stared at the almost empty package of donuts sitting on the driver's seat of Jenna's car, trying to avoid catching sight of the mess he'd made.

\-----

Josh had been waiting outside of the office for Frank for almost three hours. They held Frank up in the Principal's office for the rest of the school day until his father arrived at the high school. Which took forever considering they had to wait for Frank's father to get off work. When he arrived, Frank Sr. was more pissed that he even had to show up. As they walked out of the office, he smacked the back of his son's head before yanking off Frank's hood. "What'd I tell you 'bout keepin' your hands to yourself?" He asked in a gruff voice.

"He was standin' up for someone else," Josh said. "It's not like he just started beatin' on someone for no reason."

"I didn't ask you," Frank Sr. snarled.

"I don't give a fuck," Josh scoffed. "I didn't ask your fuckin' permission to talk. Frank ain't this bad person you make him out to be." Josh walked towards Frank's father; with his head held high, Josh stood a good four inches above him. "And I'm takin' Frank home with me."

Flustered, Frank Sr. shoved Josh out of the way and stomped to the door, muttering curse words and insults. Josh walked over to Frank, wrapping his arm around his shoulders as he led him to the door. "Thanks for that, man," Frank said, "but I'm sleeping at Gee's."

"Yeah, I know." Josh smiled.

"Hey, wait up!" Ashley called out, running down the hall. Josh and Frank snickered as they watched her bound towards them, holding onto the strap of her messenger bag.

"You looked like a golden retriever," Frank laughed.

"Shut the fuck up, Frank," Ashley said, swatting him on the arm before opening the door and walking out. Josh and Frank followed after her, the click of the metal latch on the door echoing throughout the breezeway.

"Where'd you come from, Lassie?" Josh asked, smiling from ear to ear as he strolled beside her.

"One: Lassie is a Collie, and two: I stayed late for the yearbook committee." She sighed.

"Yearbook committee?" Josh asked in disbelief. "Since when does my sister give a damn about this school and anyone in it?"

"I figured it would look good on college applications and shit." She replied. "I don't know. It's turning out to be a nightmare."

"I don't think they're gonna give a shit about it, to be honest," said Frank, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

Ashley looked up at Frank, a distraught expression on her face. "You think so?" She asked.

"I mean," Frank shrugged, "I suggest taking an AP English class."

"...What the fuck are you talkin' 'bout, Frank?" Josh asked. "We don't have an AP English class here."

"That's what's wrong with this world," said Frank. He walked faster towards the truck, pointed to the direction of the school, and said, "these idiots are in charge of the school funds and y' know where most of it goes? ...Sports! Fucking _sports._ We're all gonna be dumb as _fuck, _but at least we can dribble a basketball, and let's not forget--"

"Frank, are you fuckin' high?" Josh asked him.

"Possibly." He deadpanned, looking over the bed of the truck.

"Oh my God," Ashley sighed as she rolled her eyes, leaning against the driver's side door.

"How, how is it possible that you're high? You've been in that office for six hours!" Josh exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air in frustration.

"Yes, but I swallowed a tab of acid _eight_ hours ago, so," said Frank.

"Get in the goddamn truck," Josh gritted out, going to pull on the door handle.

"Wait," Ashley stopped him, "I have an idea."

"Am I gonna like it?" Josh asked, rolling his eyes.

"Does it involve food?" Frank asked with a hopeful smile.

"Yes, and yes." She grinned. "Why don't we go to the game tonight?"

"No!" Frank and Josh shouted.

"Oh, c'mon, guys," Ashley whined. "Frank can eat nachos, and you can watch Brendon lose the game."

"Oh, fuck." Frank groaned. "Can I get Twizzlers, too?" He skipped like a child around the bed of the truck over to Ashley.

"What'd'ya say, Josh?" Ashley asked sweetly. "You can call Gerard and Lyn! Maybe they'd like to come?"

"Ooh! Call Ray!" Frank yelled, patting Josh on the chest.

"Why?" Josh asked him, scrunching up his eyebrows.

"Because," Frank's face turned into one of sadness, "I miss him."

"Oh, dear God." Josh sighed. "Let's go meet up with Gee and everyone at his house first, then we'll come back." Josh pushed Ashley out of the way, opening the driver's side door and hopping in the truck. He slammed the door shut before rolling down the window. "Well," he glared at the two still standing outside of the vehicle, "get in, shitheads."


	4. Tyler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***Trigger Warnings: anxiety, panic attacks, thoughts of suicide, bullying, drug abuse***

Tyler sat on the fourth row of the bleachers, wearing Jenna's grey hoodie and sipping on Gatorade as he watched the cheerleaders perform a cheer. Earlier, Jenna had managed to find the janitor and came back outside with a roll of paper towels, and some Clorox wipes. He cleaned himself up while she cleaned her car. Tyler apologized profusely to which Jenna just replied, "Relax, Ty, I'm just glad you puked on the car and not on me."

Tyler still had his doubts about Jenna, but when she flashed that dazzling smile at him, her blue eyes gleaming, it was hard not to trust her. Brendon was furious that he and Tyler were even in the same room. He would glare at Tyler from across the gym now and again, sending chills down Tyler's spine. It didn't matter how many people were in there; Tyler just knew that Brendon would find a way to get to him.

When the home team finally made a basket, everyone in the bleachers stood up, cheering. Well, almost everyone. Tyler sat there, slightly curling in on himself as the voices grew louder, some people started stomping their feet, making him jump. He couldn't focus on anything. Tyler placed his head in his hands, closed his eyes, and tried to take a deep breath. His chest felt tight; it felt as if someone had poured acid in his lungs.

He jumped up, the Gatorade bottle, that was sitting on his lap, fell to the floor of the bleachers. Tyler ran down the bleachers and out of the gym, his heart racing, thumping in his ears. He slowed his pace as he walked further down the hall, away from the commotion of the game and towards the exit. He stopped walking when Frank waltzed through those doors.

Frank was running his hands down the lockers as he advanced towards Tyler, surrounded by his friends, he giggled like a child. Tyler had nowhere to run. He could try to push past them and run outside, or he could run into an empty classroom, where they would surely find him. He stood there, frozen, in the middle of the long hallway.

"Buddy!" Frank yelled, rushing toward Tyler and engulfing him in a big hug. "It's been so long!" He let go of Tyler and spun him around, holding onto his shoulders to guide him as he walked. "How 'bout you come sit with us? Yeah?" The closer they got to the gym, the more Tyler cursed himself. He focused on the should've's and could've's until he was seated right between Frank and Josh, higher up in the stands than when he was alone.

A girl with long, red hair came bounding up the bleachers, taking a seat between him and Josh. "Thanks for waiting for me, guys. Really appreciate it," she said, reaching into her bag and pulling out a package of Twizzlers. If anyone replied, Tyler nor the girl with red hair would have heard it, on account of the large burly man who suddenly shouted for the ref to 'get his head out of his ass.' Frank went to tug on the burly man's shirt, but the red-haired girl pushed his hand away and handed him a Twizzler instead. Tyler tried not to stare at her, but he couldn't place her for some reason, his mind was drawing a blank. She must have caught his gaze because she stopped chewing on her candy and smiled. "Tyler, it's _me_, Ashley."

"Oh," Tyler replied lamely. "Yeah, I-I knew that."

She snickered and reached into the bag of candy, "Twizzler?" She offered.

Tyler's mind instantly replayed the package of double chocolate donuts that failed to sit in his stomach, and he shook his head. "I'm good, thanks." She shrugged and bit off another piece of the candy before sticking it in her drink, using it as a straw. Tyler smiled at her, memories of when they were little popping up in his brain. Josh wiped it all away when he looked at Tyler, his teeth tugging on his bottom lip.

Tyler looked down at his hands, just now realizing that Frank had been holding onto one of them the entire time. He wasn't able to process what was happening. He had no idea what was going on. Something that Jenna had said earlier floated into his head, _"You have more friends than you think, mister."_

He couldn't turn his attention to the game if he tried. So much was happening right now, at this moment, that he was afraid he'd miss it. Josh and Gerard were seeing how many heads they could hit with popcorn before they were either: a) kicked out or b) a fight started. Ashley was teaching a girl named Lyn, how to make a paper crane. Frank finally let go of Tyler's hand to stand up with Ray and cheer with the cheerleaders. Tyler wished he hadn't forgotten his phone this morning.

_His phone._

This entire time, he hadn't talked to his mom, not once. A shot of adrenaline went through him as he bolted down the stands, Ashley and Frank calling after him. He ran up to Jenna and pulled her away from the other cheerleaders. He tried to talk over the cacophony of stomps, shouts, and cheers, but all he could get out were broken words. She threw her pom-poms down and walked Tyler out of the gym, keeping him close.

"Ty, just breathe," Jenna instructed, rubbing her hands up and down his arms. "You're okay. You're safe."

"B-But m-my-- my m-mom's not." Tyler covered his ears, leaning against the lockers.

"Have you called her?" Jenna asked him.

"I-I don't-- My phone--" Tyler said through sobs, the noise in his head growing louder.

"Stay right here," Jenna said, "I'm gonna go get my phone out of my bag. I'll be right back. Don't move." Tyler nodded, holding his head in his hands. The squeaking of the basketball player's shoes against the hardwood floor echoed in his head. He just wanted to leave. Just as quick as she had left, Jenna was back in front of Tyler, holding out her phone. "Let's go outside, and you can call your mom, okay?"

They began walking down the hallway, Jenna's arm around Tyler. He couldn't wait until they got outside. He needed to hear her voice. He needed to make sure she was still alive. His hands trembled as he dialed the number he knew by heart. Tyler listened to the phone ring, his heart sinking with every trill of the line. "She'll pick up," he said softly, "she has to."

He called his mother six times, and every time it went to voicemail. "S-Something's wrong, Jenna. I-I gotta go home." He handed Jenna her phone back and began walking towards her little blue car.

Jenna followed him to her car, watching him grab his backpack and sling it over one of his shoulders. "Tyler, the game is almost over. I said I'd drive you home."

"Can't wait that long." He dismissed her.

"Tyler!" She stomped her foot, splashing her legs with a muddy puddle. "I'm not letting you walk home." But he ignored her. Tyler pulled the hood of Jenna's hoodie up and readjusted his backpack before sprinting across the parking lot. Once he made it across the road, the lack of streetlights in the town kept Jenna from seeing where Tyler went; he vanished in the darkness.

\-----

The walk home always seemed long, but Tyler made up for it by running most of the way. His calves burned, and his ankles were weak, but he almost made it. He was trying to catch his breath, walking down a sizeable hilly road everyone called "rollercoaster hills" when the headlights beamed from behind him. Tyler moved over to the ditch just in time for a massive truck to barrel down the hill, spraying him with a puddle. The truck stopped at the bottom of the hill before backing up slowly, causing Tyler to panic. As the truck neared, the taillights illuminated a bumper sticker on the tailgate of the truck that read, "Gas, Grass, or Ass, Nobody Rides For Free."

Tyler's stomach dropped. He knew who's truck that was, and he wasn't about to stick around to find out what they wanted. Tyler ducked into the woods by the road, tripping over fallen branches, his hands covered in mud. He could hear the hoots and hollers of Brendon and Dallon; he could hear their footsteps in the leaves; he could see the lights of their phones bouncing off the trees. His breath quickened as he tried to wade through the muck of mud and leaves.

"C' mon, Tyler!" Brendon yelled. "We ain't gonna hurt ya!"

Tyler sat still behind a tree, praying to any force greater than himself that he wouldn't be found.

"We wanna be friends!" Dallon cackled.

Tyler trembled as he held onto the straps of his backpack, attempting to quiet his breathing.

"Y'know..." Brendon began, making his way closer to Tyler. "We seen you at the game. You got a lot of nerve showin' up there after the bullshit you pulled today." Brendon walked past him, searching for Tyler. He hadn't seen him, but Dallon had.

"Well, lookie what we got here," Dallon snickered, grabbing Tyler by the hair of the head and pulling him upright. Brendon whipped around, shining his phone's flashlight in Tyler's face.

"Say, Dallon," Brendon giggled, "is it duck season?"

Dallon grabbed Tyler by the throat, a grin on his face. "Nah, I'm pretty sure it's rabbit season."

Brendon walked forward, a sinister look in his eyes. Tyler looked down and saw the gleam of the knife in Brendon's hand. "No-- P-p-please, d-don't!" Tyler whimpered.

"P-p-p-please," Brendon mocked. "Shut the fuck up. I didn't say you could speak." Brendon held the knife against Tyler's face. "I could end your pathetic, miserable life right now, and no one would even care." Brendon pressed the knife into Tyler's cheek, drawing blood. Tyler whimpered in fear. "Let him go, Dallon."

"What?" Dallon scoffed.

"Let him go." Brendon pressed. "I wanna see if this rabbit can run." Dallon removed his hand from Tyler's neck, allowing Tyler to take in a deep breath. When Tyler didn't move, Brendon pushed him, yelling, "Run! Run, rabbit, run!"

Tyler's feet stuttered at first, tripping over fallen branches and rocks. He ran as fast as his tired legs would take him. He could hear Dallon and Brendon laughing as he struggled to climb the hill, his clothes now caked in mud. Once he made it to the top, he hid behind a tree, trying to catch his breath and watching Brendon and Dallon get back in the truck.

When they drove away, Tyler broke down into sobs, wiping the mud off his hands onto his already muddy pant leg. He had to suck it up; he had to get home and make sure his mom was okay. Tyler stood on shaky legs, making his way back to the road.

\-----

Coming up on the driveway, Tyler decided to make one last sprint to the front door upon noticing his father's truck wasn't parked in its usual spot. He pulled his keys out of his front pocket and grabbed the doorknob only for it to push open. Tyler sat his backpack by the door as he entered the trailer, shutting the front door behind him. He slipped off his dirty shoes before pulling off his soaked socks.

"Mom?" Tyler called out. "Momma, are you here?" He walked to the kitchen to see his mother face down on the floor, the fridge door hanging open. "Mom!" He ran to her, his muddy knees leaving streaks across the linoleum. Tyler rolled her over on her side, gently. He listened to her breathing and placed his fingers on the pulse point on her neck. She was alive.

Tyler lifted her head as she mumbled something incoherent and wiped the drool off her face with a dishtowel that was clutched in her hand. Her eyes fluttered open as he rubbed the slightly rough cloth across her face. "Momma?" His voice was small. "You gotta wake up, Momma. I need to get you into bed."

She flailed her arms and legs, trying to find leverage to lift herself. Tyler hooked his arms underneath her armpits and lifted her to sit on her bottom, resting her against the kitchen cabinet. "I must've took a spill," she chuckled lightly, already nodding off again.

"C'mon, Momma," Tyler said as he lifted his mother and struggled to carry her into his parent's bedroom. He sat her on the edge of the bed, beginning to take off her jewelry. Once he got his mother in her pajamas and tucked her into bed, he quietly picked up her purse and walked into the living room. He rummaged through her bag until he found the orange prescription bottle, lighter than before. Tyler didn't need to count the pills to know that she'd overtaken them.

Tyler had been taking care of his mom all his life. She wasn't always like this. Kelly was smart and funny, and one of the most caring people he'd ever known. But she had her demons, her own struggles, and burdens. She couldn't carry them all on her own. He was more than willing to help her carry them, but he would be lying if he said it wasn't wearing on him.

Just as Tyler put the pill bottle back in her purse and stood up, his father stumbled in. Tyler looked away from his dad, going towards the hall when his father shouted, "Where you goin'?"

Tyler stopped in his tracks, still not looking at his father. "I'm gonna take a shower. Mom's in bed." He began to walk down the hall, but his father stomped towards him, grabbing his arm and yanking him back.

"What's wrong with ya?" He asked, his eyes glassy and bloodshot. He pointed to the cut on Tyler's face.

"I-I fell," Tyler replied, his voice wavering.

Chris Joseph was a hard man to live with. He never supported Tyler in anything he did, ever. It was always, "Why can't you be more like the other kids?" or "You'll never get anywhere in life." He heard the same bullshit come out of his father's mouth day after day, but it never got any easier. Chris was an alcoholic, plain and simple. He abused alcohol almost as much as he abused his wife and son.

"Get outta my sight," Chris said, shoving Tyler towards the hallway. He grumbled to himself as he walked into the kitchen. That's when Tyler wished he could kick himself in the face. He forgot to close the fridge. "Goddamn it!" Chris yelled. "Who the fuck left this open?"

Tyler dashed into the bathroom at the end of the hall, shutting the door and locking it. He backed away from the door, his back hitting the open space of the shower and falling in. The shampoo bottles crashed to the tub floor around him. Tyler covered his face on instinct, the loud noise startling him. He couldn't breathe.

Chris banged on the bathroom door. "You better not be breakin' shit in there!"

Tyler rubbed at his eyes, smearing the remnants of dried mud that was on his hands, down his face. He climbed out of the tub and began stripping off his clothes, averting his eyes from the mirror so he wouldn't see the bruises that littered his body. His legs ached, and his hands shook as he leaned over to turn on the shower. Tyler would take a bath, but he didn't trust himself not to pass out and drown. He laughed to himself as he thought about it, stepping into the stream of the shower.

Would anyone care if Tyler died? He hardly showed up at school, and no one gave a shit, why would they give a shit if he ceased to exist. Tyler stood under the shower stream, letting the hot water roll down his aching back. As he picked up the shampoo bottle from the floor, he thanked God that tomorrow was Saturday.


	5. Debby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***Trigger Warnings: death, vomiting, mentions of self-harm scars, drug use, mentions of weight loss, food, and restricting. These are all scattered throughout the chapter so please be careful.***

The wind howled outside Tyler's bedroom window, rustling the leaves, making the trees wave. Tyler sat in bed, the only light in his room came from the old lamp he bought from an estate sale long ago. He scribbled down his thoughts in his journal, memories of the old lady down the street, haunting his broken mind. Everyone said she was out of her mind. Tyler could relate. He visited her every day after school. She would give him a glass of sweet tea and play The Beatles. She'd tell him stories of when she was a little girl. She was like a grandmother to him. When she got really bad and couldn't take care of herself, he would dance with her to the bathroom, a simple way to care for her that made her happy.

Tyler never got to say goodbye. One day, after school, he walked to her house and knocked on the door before entering, as usual. Everything seemed okay; the TV was playing Wheel of Fortune, and the only light came from the fringed lamp beside the couch. He assumed she was in bed or possibly in the bathroom. Then the smell hit him. He covered his nose as he walked toward the bedroom, Tyler opened the door, and the sight before him will forever be in his mind. The old lady was on the floor, her eyes open and empty, stiff as a board.

Tyler gagged, staggering backward into the living room, knocking the lamp over. He dug his phone out of his pants pocket and called 911. He hadn't been over in a few days because he couldn't get out of the house, and she died alone. The one thing he promised her that wouldn't happen, did. Seeing them zip the old lady up in a black bag made Tyler sick. He ran out of the house and all the way home. Tyler didn't leave his house for a week. He stayed in bed, staring at the ceiling, his mind spinning, and his stomach churning.

When he heard about the estate sale, Tyler forced himself to leave the house and attend the sale. He needed that lamp. There was something about it; the maroon shade with baroque stitching, the gold fringe, and tassels that hung from the shade, the fact that it was always on. She was a beacon of light in his dark life, and that lamp was a memento of her.

Another beam of light shined into Tyler's bedroom window, breaking him away from his thoughts. He got out of bed and placed his journal on his desk before going to the window, peeking through the sheer white curtains. The light was coming from a car's headlights, sitting in the driveway, idling. Panic struck through Tyler. Who the fuck would be at his house this late?

Tyler walked to his closet, grabbed a hoodie, and shrugged it on before going to his bed. He quietly opened his door, sneaking down the hall and creeping towards the front door. He slipped his muddy shoes on and checked to see if his dad's gun was loaded. He debated whether or not he should greet whoever is outside with a twelve-gauge shotgun in their face. Would he even have the nerve to do it?

He decided against it and turned the porch light on before going outside, quietly walking down the steps. The headlights turned off, and the driver's side door opened. Tyler saw a blonde ponytail with a red bow pop out from the car. The anxiety melted away instantly when he realized it was Jenna. She shut the car door gently and hurried over to Tyler.

"Hey," Jenna spoke softly, "I just wanted to make sure you got home okay. Is your momma alright?"

Tyler fought a smile. "Yeah, she's okay. I'm fine. We're fine."

"Are you sure?" Jenna asked. "What happened to your face, Ty?"

Tyler looked down at the ground, putting his hands in the pocket of his hoodie. "I'm fine, I swear." His voice cracked as he spoke; the anxiety was building back up inside of him.

Jenna stepped forward slowly and rubbed her hand up and down his arm. "You can tell me, Ty. I'm not gonna judge you or make fun of you."

Tyler sniffled as tears welled up in his eyes. He stared at the ground as he whispered, "Brendon caught me when I was walk--walking h-home."

Jenna's concerned face contorted into one of anger, her eyebrows furrowed, and her jaw clenched. She sighed, shaking her head. "He needs to be locked up. He's worse than a bully." Her facial expression softened as she noticed Tyler started shaking. "Hey," her voice was soft and gentle, "it's gonna be okay. Alright?" Jenna placed her hand on his shoulder, rubbing in small circles. "Do you wanna hang out with Debby and me for the night?" She asked.

Tyler wiped his eyes and his nose with his sleeve, still looking at the ground. "I don't think that's a good idea," He said. "I mean, doesn't Debby hate me?"

Jenna smirked. "Of course not." She snorted. "She wanted to come with me to check on you."

He looked up at Jenna, his watery eyes gleaming under the yellow glow of the porch light. "Really?" He asked, baffled that anyone would care.

"Yeah, silly." She giggled. "C' mon, you can sleepover at my house. It'll be like old times."

Tyler shifted his gaze to his muddy shoes, digging a hole in the driveway with his heel. "I dunno... I gotta stay with my mom."

"Why?" Jenna asked.

Tyler's throat tightened as he spoke, "She-- She's n-not--," he sighed, frustrated with himself and the whole situation, "my momma is sick."

Jenna slowly nodded, wrapping her bare arms around herself. A sleeveless cheer uniform wasn't the greatest choice for October weather. "Is that why you don't go to school?" She asked. Tyler nodded, biting his lip. Jenna scuffed her foot in the gravel driveway, kicking up tiny rocks. "Well... Is she okay now?" She asked, before hurrying to say, "I mean, you said she was alright when you got home."

"Yeah," he nodded, "she's sleepin'. She'll be fine."

A few moments of silence passed before Jenna hesitantly asked, "Tyler... are you scared of people?"

The grip on Tyler's throat tightened, choking him. A sob burst through, out of his mouth, and into the still air of the night. He shook his head as he rubbed his eyes. "Yes," he croaked.

Jenna stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. "You don't need to be afraid of me, Ty. I'm not gonna hurt you. I promise." She ran her fingers through his hair, holding him as he cried on her shoulder. "Debby will understand, too. She's goin' through some stuff right now so she'll get it. Don't you worry 'bout anything, okay?"

"I-I just wanna be safe." Tyler whimpered.

"You'll be safe at my house," Jenna said. "I promise. My daddy ain't gonna let anything happen to any of us. Hell, they'd be stupid to try and get through the gate."

Tyler lifted his head and wiped his face. He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly before speaking softly, "I-- I gotta leave a note or somethin'. I can't just t-t-take off, Jenna."

"I'll wait for ya." She smiled, letting him go and lightly pushing his shoulder. "Go grab a change of clothes and leave your momma a note. We'll be right here."

Tyler nodded, trying to swallow his fear. "Okay."

He walked towards the trailer, crept up the steps, and just as he placed his hand on the doorknob, Jenna called out, "Don't forget your toothbrush!" Tyler smiled, shook his head, and walked inside.  
  


\-----

The ride to Jenna's house was short and chaotic, as usual. Debby sang her heart out to Lynyrd Skynyrd, grinning the whole way. Tyler sat in the back, hugging his stuffed backpack. He couldn't help but laugh at the way Debby and Jenna messed up the lyrics but mumbled over them anyway. The girls were still in their cheerleading uniforms, so it was a tad chilly for them, meaning Jenna decided to blast the heat in her car. Tyler felt like he was suffocating in his hoodie.

When they pulled up to the gate at Jenna's trailer, Debby was the one to open it for Jenna to drive through. It was usual for people that had land to have no trespassing signs, but the one on Jenna's gate was not the norm. The bright, reflective sign read, "NO, TRESPASSING, I OWN FIREARMS AND A BACKHOE." Jenna's dad wasn't a mean person. Everyone just knew not to fuck with him. Tyler felt a sense of safety as he, Debby, and Jenna walked into her trailer.

"Looks like everyone's sleepin'," Jenna whispered, taking her shoes off by the door. Debby and Tyler did the same. The only light that was on in the house was above the kitchen sink, illuminating the small kitchen, flooding into the dining area.

"Can we make some hot chocolate?" Debby asked, placing her purse on the couch.

"'Course we can." Jenna smiled, shuffling into the kitchen and setting her bag down on the dining room table. Debby made herself comfortable on the counter in the kitchen, kicking her feet in the air. Tyler followed the girls like a lost puppy, his backpack still hanging from his shoulders. Jenna got out three mugs from the cabinet, setting them on the counter next to the sink. "Ty, you can set your bag down. You don't gotta carry it." Jenna smiled.

Tyler blushed, embarrassed that he didn't know how to act around another person. "Okay," he said softly.

Debby cooed. "Oh my goodness, you're just the cutest person on the planet!" She nudged Tyler's shoulder, grinning.

"Isn't he?" Jenna joined in, filling the cups with water and placing them in the microwave.

"S-Stop, you guys," Tyler muttered.

"No!" Debby protested. "You deserve to be cherished and showered with love."

Tyler fiddled with his thumbs, chewing on his lip while his face turned as red as the girl's cheerleading uniforms.

"Deb," Jenna snickered, "We gotta be quiet. I don't wanna wake anyone up."

"Sorry," Debby giggled. "Too much sugar."

There was an awkward silence between the three as the microwave hummed. The trio exchanged looks before Jenna and Debby burst into giggles, Tyler stood there smiling, confused. "What?" He whispered.

"I love your pajama pants, dude," Debby said, pointing at the black fabric that was littered with curse words in white lettering. Jenna snorted, causing her to laugh harder, jumping when the microwave beeped.

"Shit," Tyler cursed under his breath. "I forgot I was in my pajamas."

Debby cackled, clapping her hands and tossing her head back. The back of her head connected with the kitchen cabinet, creating a loud thud. "Oh, fuck!" Debby shouted. 

"Debby!" Jenna shushed her. Jenna was trying to hold it together as she stirred their drinks, shaking her head. 

Debby rubbed the back of her head and frowned. "Jenna, your kitchen is attacking me." Tyler smiled, taking the mug of hot chocolate from Jenna. Debby hopped down from the counter and grabbed her cup, taking a sip before hissing at the burn on her tongue. "Damn it. I always do that." She shook her head.

Jenna picked up her mug and slid across the linoleum in her white bobby socks. "You have no patience," she giggled. Tyler and Debby followed Jenna to her bedroom. It was decorated in pink, lots of pink. Porcelain dolls lined the back of her white dresser, which was littered with makeup and nail polish. Her bed was covered with stuffed animals and fluffy white pillows that matched a fluffy white bean bag that sat in the corner of the room.

Debby sat her mug down on the floor and plopped on the bean bag, crossing her legs. Jenna went to her dresser, where a TV sat on the corner, and turned it on, searching for something to watch. Tyler stood in the doorway, unsure of what to do. The last time he was in Jenna's room, he was twelve. They played with Barbies and Jenna's stuffed animals when they weren't playing make-believe outside.

"Tyler, you can sit down," Jenna said, settling on playing an old horror movie from the sixties. She turned, giving him a smile before walking forward and taking his hand, leading him to the bed. "Sit down, goofy." He sat on the bed, the springs squeaking under his weight. She ruffled his hair, which he protested, smiling.

Jenna took a drink of her hot chocolate before setting it down on her nightstand. She sat on the bed next to Tyler, placing her hands in her lap. Tyler looked down at his drink, watching the steam rise from the cup. It was warm in Jenna's trailer. He wanted to take his hoodie off, but he couldn't. That sight would be too much for them to handle. What if they kicked him out? Called him a freak? He sighed.

"What's the matter?" Debby asked him, concern lacing her voice.

Tyler shook his head, plastering a small smile on his face. "I'm just tired, s'all."

"You wanna go to bed?" Jenna asked. "I have a trundle bed. Debby can sleep with me, and you can sleep--"

"Jenna," Tyler interrupted, "I never sleep. S'okay."

Jenna's excitement faltered. "...Oh."

"Well, hey," Debby began, "Why don't we have, like, a typical sleepover? We can paint our nails and watch horror movies!"

"P--Paint our n-nails?" Tyler asked meekly.

"Yeah!" Debby grinned. "I've seen your handy work on your nails, Tyler." She smirked, taking a sip of her hot chocolate.

Tyler blushed, looking down at his hands and inspecting the chipped nail polish he had yet to take off. "Yeah..." he trailed off, "I guess that'd be cool."

"Let's get in our pajamas and go get more snacks!" Jenna cheered.

"Yeah, dude!" Debby giggled, setting her mug down on the floor. "Tyler, do you smoke?"

"Um," Tyler scratched the back of his head, avoiding eye contact. "Smoke, what exactly?"

Jenna giggled, grinning at Tyler while Debby snorted. "Dude," Debby began, "Do you really think I'm this happy from sugar?"

Tyler smiled, looking down at his sock covered feet as they kicked back and forth from the bed. "I have once or twice."

"You don't have to if you don't want to, Ty," Jenna said, a serious tone to her voice. "No one's gonna make you do anything."

"Yeah," Debby chimed in, "I was just gonna offer you to smoke a bowl with me while Jenna goes to get more snacks." She grinned cheekily.

"Hey! Why do I have to go by myself?" Jenna asked.

"Because it's your house, and I'm lazy." Debby deadpanned.

Jenna sighed, standing up. "I suppose you want me to bring your purse in here, too?"

Debby looked up a Jenna with a pout on her face, her eyes wide. "Please, Jenna?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Jenna scoffed. "Ty, d'you want your bag too?"

"Are you sure you can carry all that shit?" Tyler asked before taking a drink of his hot chocolate.

"I'm used to carrying around emotional baggage, I'm sure I can manage," Jenna said, walking to the door. Tyler suppressed a laugh while his mouth was full of his drink; the hot chocolate came out of his mouth and his nose, spraying all over his hoodie. "Oh, shit!" Jenna shouted. "Are you okay, Tyler?"

"Dude, you exploded," Debby said.

"That fucking hurt," Tyler chuckled. He couldn't help it. He had to laugh at himself.

"Poor Ty," Jenna said, taking his mug from him and going towards the door. "You've had a rough day. I'll be right back, okay?

Debby placed her hot chocolate on the floor and stood up, walking towards Tyler and placing her hands under the hem of his hoodie. "Raise your arms, lovebug," Debby spoke softly.

"Uh-" Tyler stammered, "I-I can't take it off."

"Why not?" She asked.

Tyler bit his lip, willing himself not to get upset. "Um. I--I don't wanna show--"

"Oh..." Debby said in realization. "Hold on, honey." She walked to the closet, grabbing one of Jenna's sweaters. "Here," she said, walking towards him, holding out the shirt, "You can wear this."

"Debby, I don't--"

"Tyler, you'll look great in it." She insisted. "And you won't have to show anyone." Tyler looked into her eyes, searching for any trace of malice in her warm brown eyes. "Dude, I have 'em, too. I get it." She said, sitting beside him. Debby lifted her skirt, exposing her bloomers; she hiked up the hem of them and revealed thick white and pink scars against her skin. Tyler's heart sunk.

"You don't have to show me yours just because I showed you mine," she said, smoothing down her skirt, "I just wanted you to know you're not alone, and I understand." He nodded. "Jenna does, too." She added.

Tyler took the pink sweater from Debby's lap, running his fingers over the soft fabric. "You promise you won't tell anyone?"

Debby furrowed her eyebrows, confused. "I could've sworn I've seen you wear pink before, Tyler."

"Yeah, but this is a really girly sweater. I mean, it's got a v-neck for fuck's sake." Tyler chuckled.

"Well, you don't have any scars on your chest, do ya?" Debby asked.

"No," Tyler sighed. "But--"

Just then, Jenna burst through her door, Debby's purse on one shoulder, Tyler's backpack on the other, and a handful of snacks. Tyler and Debby stared at Jenna as she shut the door with her foot and stood still, a questioning look on her face. "What?" she asked.

"Can Tyler wear this?" Debby asked, snatching the sweater and holding it up for Jenna to inspect. 

Jenna dumped the food onto the bed before setting Debby's purse and Tyler's backpack on the floor. She took the sweater from Debby, holding it up to Tyler's frame. "Hmm..." She hummed in thought. "Hold on." Jenna skipped to her closet, tossing the pink sweater into the depths before pulling a yellow sweatshirt off a hanger. "I think this would be comfier."

"Definitely." Debby nodded.

Tyler smiled, taking the soft cotton crewneck from Jenna. "C-Can I change in the bathroom?"

"'Course, Ty." Jenna smiled, opening a bag of chips.

Tyler made his way across the hall and into the bathroom like it was muscle memory. Jenna's bathroom still looked the same. Pink, fluffy cover on the toilet seat, a pink frilly shower curtain, and a pink, fluffy rug. Tyler rolled his eyes, smiling at how girly Jenna was. He missed the times they spent together and how he could be himself.

He tugged off his stained hoodie and t-shirt and folded them before placing them on the sink. He hurried to pull on the yellow sweatshirt, covering his arms and torso before he could catch sight of the purple scars on his skin. He then allowed himself to look in the mirror, running his eyes up and down his body. He had lost at least thirty pounds in the past five weeks. He knows because he that's the last time he was in the hospital, and the last time he was weighed. Tyler would never weigh himself. He didn't care. He didn't think he'd be here much longer anyway.

Tyler went to pick up his clothing when he spotted a bottle of yellow nail polish on the bathroom sink. He smiled, picking it up along with his clothes before walking out of the bathroom. He snuck back into Jenna's bedroom, shutting the door softly behind him. The girls were sitting on the bed, in their pajamas, munching on chips and cookies.

"Lookin' sharp, lovebug," Debby said, smiling.

"Yeah! You look great." Jenna agreed. "It's nice to see you in a bright color."

Tyler waved them off, blushing. "Stop it."

"Never," Debby said.

"D'you want me to stuff those in the wash for ya?" Jenna asked him.

"Oh, you don't have to--" Tyler began.

"Ty, just give me the gosh darn clothes," Jenna smirked, holding out her hand. Tyler handed his clothes over before going to sit on the white, fluffy bean bag. Jenna shoved the bag of chips in Debby's lap and got off the bed, leaving the room.

"So..." Tyler trailed off before remembering the small bottle of nail polish in his hand. "Hey, do you think you can paint my nails this color?" He asked Debby.

"Of course!" She squealed. "Oh my god!"

"What?" Jenna asked as she walked back into her room, closing the door behind her.

"Tyler wants me to paint his nails," Debby said as she reached over to him and snatched the bottle of polish out of his hand and held it up for Jenna to see, "yellow."

"Really?" Jenna tilted her head, a grin on her face. "Not black?"

"Yeah," Tyler said, shyly.

"Good." She beamed, walking to her dresser, and picking out a color for herself. "Do you want any designs on them?" Jenna asked him.

"N-no." He shook his head, placing his hands on his knees. "I just like the yellow."

"Okay," Jenna smiled, grabbing the nail polish remover and a bottle of black nail polish. "Hey, Debs, hand me that box of tissues on my nightstand." 

Debby grabbed the box and slid down onto the floor in front of Tyler. "Hold out your hands." She grinned. He gingerly placed his hands in one of hers, letting her take off the old black nail polish.

A woman on the television screamed as an ax was swung into her head. Jenna turned the TV down before setting off on removing her nail polish. "So, Tyler," She drawled out. "I saw you sitting with Frank and Josh... Were they nice to you?"

"Yeah." Tyler nodded, watching Debby do one final sweep on his nails. "Everything was fine."

"Good," Jenna said. "Frank seems like an alright dude."

"H-he's tolerable..." Tyler trailed off.

"Sometimes." Debby snickered.

"Debs!" Jenna smacked her friend's arm, screwing the lid back on the nail polish remover.

"I'm just sayin'," Debby laughed out. "He can get annoying when he's too high. Just like everyone can."

"Speaking of," Jenna smirked, leaning behind Debby and opening her nightstand drawer, pulling out an ornate wooden box. "I'll pack a bowl."

"You still don't have to smoke, Tyler," Debby promised, stopping mid-brushstroke to look up at the shy boy.

"Yeah," Jenna agreed, "We'll go outside if the smoke bothers you."

"I'd like to smoke," said Tyler. The urge to fiddle with his fingers was so strong at the moment. He bit on the insides of his cheeks instead.

"Okay," Jenna smiled, shrugging as she packed the bowl of the pipe with weed. "Whatever you wanna do, honey-bunny."

Tyler chuckled. "Honey-bunny?" He asked.

"Yep!" Jenna grinned before taking a hit. Tyler watched as she held the smoke in her lungs before she exhaled slowly, setting the pipe beside Debby's leg. "I should have made brownies. I hate smoking," Jenna said as she stuck out her tongue, making a disgusted face. Debby snickered, putting a piece of hair behind her ear before holding Tyler's hand again, finishing up on the first coat. 

Tyler looked at Jenna incredulously. "You mean, all those times you've offered me baked goods, they were special?"

Jenna scoffed. "No, goofy." She laughed and ruffled his hair. "I would tell you before I gave you one of those."

"Why you gotta mess up my hair all the time?" Tyler groaned.

"Because it's fun to play with." She shrugged.

"Hey," Debby interjected, "You know what else is fun to play?"

Tyler gulped, his blood ran cold as his skin broke out in a sheen of sweat. "W-what?" He asked.

"Truth or dare," said Debby, letting go of his hand and screwing the top back on the bottle of polish.

"What are the rules?" Tyler asked her, blowing on his nails.

She smirked, "There aren't any."

"No way," Jenna protested, blowing smoke out of her mouth. "That's how I ended up out in the snow in my underwear last time."

"Yeah, but it's not snowing," Debby pouted. "Please, it's so much more fun when there are no rules."

"C-can there b-be one rule?" Tyler asked. The girls gave him their full attention. "Can we keep our clothes on?"

Debby patted Tyler's knee, and Jenna nodded, "Of course," they chorused. The two girls burst into giggles, Tyler shaking his head. He was probably going to regret this, but then again, he regretted a lot of things. He debated whether or not this was a good idea, getting high with Debby and Jenna, and playing yet another game that could alter the direction of his life.

He let out a deep sigh, laying his head back on the bean bag and looking up at the ceiling. "Alright, fuck it, I'm in." Tyler groaned. He sat back up and held his hand out towards Debby, who now had the pipe. "Gimme that."

Debby laughed, coughing out smoke. "You know what you're doin'?" She asked him.

"It can't be that hard," Tyler reasoned, taking the glittery pipe from her and the lighter. "Just light it and suck, right?" Jenna and Debby snorted, erupting into another fit of giggles. They fell over on each other, laying on the floor as they shook with laughter. "Oh, fuck you." Tyler chuckled before lighting the bowl and taking too large of a hit. He sputtered, coughing out smoke, and smacking his chest as he gasped.

Debby's laughter faltered, she sat up and grabbed her bottle of water off of Jenna's nightstand. "Here," she offered the drink to Tyler, "take a drink and then take a few breaths."

"Then, try again," Jenna smiled, sitting up and grabbing the black nail polish. "Take a smaller hit next time, though."

Tyler nodded, taking a drink of the water. He watched Jenna begin to carefully write something on her nails with the nail polish brush as he focused on breathing. His nerves were starting to creep up on him, thoughts in his head becoming louder, harder to ignore. He just wanted to feel like they did. Tyler was determined as he placed the end of the pipe to his lips and lit the weed in the bowl, inhaling a smaller amount of smoke than before. He attempted to hold the smoke in his lungs for as long as possible, which was about two seconds before he coughed.

"Okay, you know what?" Debby began. "Maybe one of us should give him a shotgun?"

"Eh," Jenna scrunched up her face, screwing the top back on the bottle of nail polish, "I'm not sure if he'd be okay with that, Debs."

"Guys," Tyler croaked out, "I'm right here. What in the hell are you talkin' 'bout? A shotgun?"

Debby laughed. "Not a real gun, Tyler!"

"Oh my word," Jenna said, grabbing a small bottle of clear coat. "Debby, you're gonna give him a heart attack."

"It's when I take a hit and blow it into your mouth," Debby said, casually, "kinda like a filter."

"You don't blow it into his mouth," Jenna snorted, "He's supposed to suck the smoke in."

"I'm pretty sure--"

"Wait," Tyler interrupted Debby. "So, one of you would like, kiss me?"

"Well, it's not exactly a kiss," Jenna shrugged, fixing the edges of her nails.

"But it can be," Debby chimed in.

Jenna sighed. "Debby..." She glared at her before looking at Tyler, "I could make a little tunnel with my hand?"

"This is getting way too complicated," Tyler shook his head.

"Hang on," said Jenna as she sat the bottle of nail polish down, blowing on her nails. She scooted towards Tyler, kneeling in front of him. She gently took the pipe out of his hands, smiling. "Is this okay? Do you trust me?"

Tyler gripped the fabric of his pajama pants, his palms sweating. He had a pretty good idea of what Jenna was about to do, and he was so glad he had brushed his teeth earlier that evening. Tyler nodded, allowing Jenna to enter his personal space for a moment. She scooted closer after taking a hit, keeping her mouth closed as she leaned forward and softly pressed her lips against his open mouth. She breathed out the smoke as he inhaled, holding the smoke in his lungs.

Jenna scooted backward and leaned against her bed with her knees raised to her chest. She was grinning at Debby, who was staring at Tyler, watching him hold his breath for at least twelve seconds. He slowly began to smile, the corners of his mouth stretching upward until his teeth were on full display, and the smoke left in his lungs rushed out of his mouth.

"Dude," Debby chuckled, "I think that's the first time I've seen you actually smile. Like with teeth." Tyler couldn't even try to hide his smile, it felt as if his whole face was caving in and all that would be left was one giant, smiling mouth. His face to the tips of his ears turned red as he realized he was high and sitting there, grinning at the girls like a big idiot.

He cleared his throat, watching Jenna begin to pack a new bowl. "So..." Tyler started, not sure where he was going to end. "Uh-- Who's gonna go first?"

"With what?" Jenna asked preoccupied.

"Truth or dare," said Tyler, laughing at the perplexed expression on Jenna's face.

"Oh!" Jenna said a little too loudly. She snickered as Debby shushed her. "Who's birthday is comin' up first?"

"Mine's on the thirteenth of May," Debby said.

"June twelfth!" Jenna cheered, giving Debby a high-five.

"Jesus," Tyler rolled his eyes, laughing, "I'm first."

Jenna cackled, slapping her thigh with the hand that wasn't holding the pipe.

"Wait," Debby said, "What's funny? I don't get it."

Jenna blew out a stream of white smoke towards her open bedroom window. "His birthday is on the first of December." She smiled. When Debby still wasn't catching on, she added, "He's first... get it?"

"No," Debby said seriously, shaking her head, "but I'm glad I know your birthday now. How old are you gonna be?" She asked him.

"Seventeen," Tyler said.

"Oh, my God!" Debby nearly shouted.

"What?" Tyler asked.

"You're tellin' me that you're sixteen right now? And you're a junior?" She asked, amazed. 

Jenna nodded at Debby. "He got to skip a grade. Left me all by my lonesome in second."

"Peaked in elementary," Tyler laughed out, looking down at his yellow nails.

Debby grabbed one of Jenna's plush unicorns off of her bed and hugged it to her chest. "I feel kinda bad, corrupting such a bright young mind."

Tyler snorted. "I don't think you can corrupt someone that's already rotten."

"Rotten?" Jenna asked. "You see yourself as someone rotten, Ty?" He shrugged, taking the pipe from her.

"Eh, we're all bruised fruit." Debby sighed, rubbing the unicorn's ears. The trio sat in silence for a few moments before Debby snorted and began giggling. "Sorry, I just made it weird."

"No!" Tyler said, smiling. "I did."

"Hey," said Jenna, "we're all weird, so the conversation is bound to get odd at some point. Now, Tyler, pick one, truth or dare."

"Agh," He sighed, "Truth."

Jenna hummed, tapping her chin. "What is... your favorite Nicolas Cage movie?"

"Oh, this is important," said Debby, leaning forward, listening intently.

"Oh, man..." Tyler chuckled, his head feeling like a cotton ball. "Probably Matchstick Men. The scene where he's in the pharmacy is fucking fantastic."

"I've never seen that!" Jenna said. "We'll have to watch it."

"Debby," Tyler said, "truth or dare?"

"Dare, baby." Debby clapped her hands together.

"It is officially opposite day for you for the rest of the game," Tyler smirked.

Debby snorted. "Oh, c'mon man, I know you got somethin' sweeter than that!"

"Okay..." Tyler scratched his head. "Make out with that stuffed unicorn you're holding for a second."

Debby laughed, picking up the unicorn and kissing its face passionately. Jenna and Tyler giggled, basking in immaturity and the momentary high they had. Debby stopped kissing the unicorn and looked up at Jenna, smiling. "I believe your unicorn is in love with me now," Debby smirked.

Jenna snatched the unicorn from Debby, laughing. "You got lipgloss all over him!"

"Jenna, truth or dare?" Debby asked, grinning.

"Dare!" Jenna bounced in the place she sat, beaming.

"Remove your socks using only your mouth," said Debby, snickering.

"Eww!" Jenna gagged. "I hate you." Tyler and Debby laughed as they watched Jenna bend her leg and raise her foot to her face, hesitantly bringing her open mouth to her socked foot. She pulled it off in one fell swoop as soon as her teeth connected with the white fabric. Jenna threw the sock at Debby's face. "There! You freak!"

Debby cackled as Jenna removed her other sock, with her hand this time, and threw that one at Debby as well. "Hey!" Debby yelled. "It was a good dare!"

"Yeah, yeah," Jenna waved her off, grabbing an Oreo before offering one to Tyler, who took it gratefully. "Truth or dare, Tyler?"

He took a bite out of the cookie and shook his head. "Truth."

"Aw, man!" Debby groaned.

"Shut up, Debs." Jenna chuckled. "Tyler, who was your last kiss?"

Tyler chewed on the Oreo, swallowed, and stared at the plush beige carpet beneath his feet. "Um..." He sighed. "Frank."

"I'm sorry, Tyler," said Jenna. "I shouldn't have asked that."

"No, it's okay," Tyler assured. "It's not like you asked who my first kiss was..."

"I have a question," Debby spoke up. Tyler switched his attention from Jenna to Debby and motioned for her to continue. "Why do we allow people to hurt us?"

"What do you mean?" Jenna asked.

"Like," Debby began, "Okay, I'm not trying to make this about myself, we all do it, I just..."

"Debby," Jenna placed her hand on Debby's, giving it a gentle squeeze. "What is it? You can tell us."

Debby hesitated before rushing out, "I had sex with Josh, again." She gauged Jenna and Tyler's expressions before adding, "I-I didn't want to, not really. I just thought if I did, he would-- he would..." Debby hung her head, covering her face with her hands. Jenna scooted next to her, wrapping her arms around Debby and holding her close.

"It'll be alright, Debs," Jenna soothed. "Why didn't you tell me he was comin' round again?"

Tyler couldn't focus on what they were saying anymore. He felt sick to his stomach. He had to get to the bathroom before he ruined everything. Tyler shot up off the bean bag and dashed out of Jenna's room, making his way into the bathroom. He shut and locked the bathroom door before rushing to the toilet, raising the lid and emptying the contents of his stomach. He heaved over the toilet bowl, bile being the only thing left to come out. When his vision had become blurry, and his chest felt too tight, he knelt beside the toilet, dry heaving.

There was a knock on the door. "Tyler?" Jenna's soft voice rang out. "Are you okay?" The doorknob twisted and turned, but Jenna couldn't come in. "Tyler, open the door." Her voice sounded worried. Tyler felt awful. He had made his friends worry about him when Debby was the one that needed comforting. 

He laid there, against the side of the tub, and closed his eyes. "I'm okay, Jenna." Tyler croaked out. "I'll be out in a minute."

"No, Tyler." Jenna persisted. "Open the door." Tyler pushed himself up off the floor and walked towards the door, unlocking it. Jenna opened the door and squeezed herself inside the tiny bathroom.

"What happened? Are you alright?" She asked as she ran her fingers through his hair. The action felt comforting for a second, then he felt guilty again and began to cry. Jenna opened the cabinet under the sink, pulled out a washcloth, and wet it with cold water before placing it on Tyler's neck.

"Thanks, Jenna," Tyler spoke softly, "You don't have to do this, though. I can do it." Tyler flushed the toilet and put the lid back down, sitting down and rubbing his hand over his face.

"Ty," Jenna whispered, "Do you want me to get you something? Want me to make you some soup?"

"Please, don't talk about soup right now," Tyler sighed, pulling at his hair.

Jenna stepped towards him and grabbed his hands, holding them. "Let me get you into bed, at least. You've gotta be tired, you've thrown up twice today."

"Six times," Tyler said.

"What?" Jenna asked.

"I threw up six times today." Tyler began. "Once after I woke up, before science, after lunch, in your car, after I took a shower, and now."

"Tyler... I'm so sorry." Jenna's voice was small and didn't sound like herself. "Does it happen every day?"

"Yeah," said Tyler. "If I stay in bed and don't eat anything, I just throw up bile sometimes when I wake up but usually..." He trailed off.

Jenna moved the pink shower curtain and sat on the edge of the tub beside him. She bit her bottom lip before saying, "How 'bout some hot tea? Would that help?" Tyler shrugged. "Okay..." she said as she thought about what to do, "You go get into bed, and I'll bring you some chamomile tea. It should calm your stomach." 

Tyler was so exhausted he wasn't about to argue. He stood up with Jenna, and they exited the bathroom. Jenna patted his back before turning down the hall to go to the kitchen. Tyler opened Jenna's door slowly, afraid he'd meet a crying Debby. When he walked in, he saw that she was already in Jenna's bed, against the wall with all the stuffed animals. She didn't look like a heartbroken teenager, she looked like a small child, sleeping peacefully.

He walked to the trundle bed that was pulled out for him and knelt on it gently, wary of waking Debby. Tyler got under the blankets and snuggled against his pillow, covering himself up to his nose. He just wanted to fall asleep without thinking about everything that has ever happened and everything that could happen, for once.


End file.
